seriously?

I am constantly, constantly suprised at the way I find that other people perceive me. Am I just blind? Or naive? On just a completely different level? What I do in my life, my actions, my goals...do they mean nothing? It's not like I'm seeking to please or show off to anyone, I am Living my life the way I know how, for God, for my daughter, is that not enough? I find people to console in that I can relate to, smart people, people who share the same values, love God, understand, don't judge, That's the way I want to be seen to people who want to console in me. I have found someone who will listen to me, not judge me, and because of who it is, I am seriously viewed as that? and then when I defend myself I look guilty. What am I supposed to say? Do I care what others think? Or do I keep on living, hurting every day, trying to get past and move forward with my life for Christ alone?
is it wrong to just flat out be shocked at the way I am viewed, when I feel like all I am doing is moving forward with my life, in what I thought was a decent and honest way?

sanguine.

Make me sanguine
Help me genuinely
Kill the doubt that strangles myself worth
Paint the picture that I swore I heard

Spiritless and mean
Ghost that comes between
I will keep my wits about myself
Disregard directions sent from hell

When it brings the gleam
Longer lasting than me
Oh my love but we are bound to die
My heart is broke but you won't hear me cry
Oh my love but we are bound to die
My heart is broke but you won't see me

-The Avett Brothers

the.

When will I let myself stop
being the other person
the other girl
when....
when will I be the priority...
when will I be the one
not the other.

10

10 is the number of the weekend.
10 years. really? REALLY?
can someone please explain how that happened? Because I have no reasonable answer.
thanks
;)

thankyou.

‎"If you have done the best you can do and if you have gotten all you could
extract from something -- you have given all you had to give, then the
time has come when you can do no more than say thank you and move on." Maya Angelou

solution

Higher than a circumstance
Your promise stands
Your love for all to see
Higher than protest line and dollar signs
Your love is all we need

Hm.

I wonder if...
you still read this.
If you even care.
I care. I do.
But that's not enough is it.

Nope.

Have I been so easily erased from your life?

it was that easy? All I had to do was let you go...

and that's it for you. No fighting for what you want.
No trying to make things right/better/happy.

unless you are already feeling all of those...without me.

Makes me feel like a keeper I'll tell you that right now.

you didn't want to be the one.


Nice.

Time.

When do you know when it's time to give up? Or give in? Or when it's over? When do you truly know?


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Joshua 1:6.

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go"

Psalm 103:12

12 as far as the east is from the west,
so far has he removed our transgressions from us.

Psalm 26.

Vindicate me, O LORD,
for I have led a blameless life;
I have trusted in the LORD
without wavering.
2 Test me, O LORD, and try me,
examine my heart and my mind;

3 for your love is ever before me,
and I walk continually in your truth.

4 I do not sit with deceitful men,
nor do I consort with hypocrites;

5 I abhor the assembly of evildoers
and refuse to sit with the wicked.

6 I wash my hands in innocence,
and go about your altar, O LORD,

7 proclaiming aloud your praise
and telling of all your wonderful deeds.

8 I love the house where you live, O LORD,
the place where your glory dwells.

9 Do not take away my soul along with sinners,
my life with bloodthirsty men,

10 in whose hands are wicked schemes,
whose right hands are full of bribes.

11 But I lead a blameless life;
redeem me and be merciful to me.

12 My feet stand on level ground;
in the great assembly I will praise the LORD.

crush.

Are you really going to just stand there and watch be burn?

I've literally been crushed- let me emphasize that...

CRUSHED

3 times in, oh, about 3 days.

I'd rather not go into details

except for the fact that things were not as they appeared to be to me. A potential relationship...crushed while I was standing in the middle of wal mart. And what do I do? I offer them a car. What is wrong with me?

I thought I had a friend...but in reality I was pissing them off and doing everything wrong. I had a gut feeling, but I didn't realize how bad it really was.

and then, well there is always the other. That I want and pray and wish so hard for every day, and nothing helps.

ok so I went into details.

anyone?

Anyone else out there interested in breaking my heart? Seems to be my life theme. So just go on, get it over with.

ack.

Tell me what to do. What do I do?

tell me.

The Avett Brothers - I And Love And You

...

Just gonna stand there
And watch me burn
But that's alright
Because I like
The way it hurts
Just gonna stand there
And hear me cry
But that's alright
Because I love
The way you lie