COME TO SAVE US

Heart.

A womans heart should be so hidden in Christ...that a man has to find Him....before he can see her....

Eddie James - Freedom

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.
1 Peter 4:8 (NIV)

But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you
Matthew 5:44 (NIV)


LOVE NEVER FAILS. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.
I Corinthians 13:8 (NIV)

nomore.

No more shackles
No more chains
No more bondage

I AM FREEEEEEE YEAH

fluffnstuff.

I feel like my life has been just a big whirling blur for the past week or so....a lot of crappy crap seems to have happened. Still waiting for my drivers license...my debit card....I did get my car insurance policy in the mail...phew!!! I'm glad I got that so fast, since the the car it's covering I cant drive for a month! Blarg.
I gave Darby a bath tonight, and poofed her out...I have a big fluffy poofy dog, and I let her get into bed with me for the first time....that dog can snuggle! I may be in trouble! She is so soft and good smelling and snuggly...I feel bad for Lex...he's not allowed in the bedroom for he sheds about 5489283239328575 hairs a second. It's too much.

Come to Breakthrough this weekend. Everyone. Please just do it. It's the only thing in my life that I can honestly look forward to, I am up on stage praising and singing and that is where I feel so close to God, that's where I belong, I want to share it with everyone, it really is life changing. I'm just saying.

Katharine McPhee - Say Goodbye

thankyou.

I am so thankful and feel blessed that my day ended so much better than it began.
Realized my car was broken into on my way to work- last night and my wallet was stolen.
Went to the police dept to report it and then got a call saying that my license tag has been revoked.
Came back to work to stuff my face with leftovers only to be made to feel I was being selfish. By Eating Lunch.. my bad.
tonight was good, I will have peaceful dreams and tomorrow is a new day, and will be better.

desert song.

This is my prayer in the desert
When all that's within me feels dry
This is my prayer in the hunger in me
My God is a God who provides

And this is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved
Of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flames

And I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon formed against me shall remain

I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here

And this is my prayer in the battle
When triumph is still on it's way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I'll stand

All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship

This is my prayer in the harvest
When favor and providence flow
I know I'm filled to be emptied again
The seed I've recieved I will sow

Breakthrough 15 (YouTube).mov

Breakthrough Church Asheville

if

If you only knew. If only.

seriously?

I am constantly, constantly suprised at the way I find that other people perceive me. Am I just blind? Or naive? On just a completely different level? What I do in my life, my actions, my goals...do they mean nothing? It's not like I'm seeking to please or show off to anyone, I am Living my life the way I know how, for God, for my daughter, is that not enough? I find people to console in that I can relate to, smart people, people who share the same values, love God, understand, don't judge, That's the way I want to be seen to people who want to console in me. I have found someone who will listen to me, not judge me, and because of who it is, I am seriously viewed as that? and then when I defend myself I look guilty. What am I supposed to say? Do I care what others think? Or do I keep on living, hurting every day, trying to get past and move forward with my life for Christ alone?
is it wrong to just flat out be shocked at the way I am viewed, when I feel like all I am doing is moving forward with my life, in what I thought was a decent and honest way?

sanguine.

Make me sanguine
Help me genuinely
Kill the doubt that strangles myself worth
Paint the picture that I swore I heard

Spiritless and mean
Ghost that comes between
I will keep my wits about myself
Disregard directions sent from hell

When it brings the gleam
Longer lasting than me
Oh my love but we are bound to die
My heart is broke but you won't hear me cry
Oh my love but we are bound to die
My heart is broke but you won't see me

-The Avett Brothers

the.

When will I let myself stop
being the other person
the other girl
when....
when will I be the priority...
when will I be the one
not the other.

10

10 is the number of the weekend.
10 years. really? REALLY?
can someone please explain how that happened? Because I have no reasonable answer.
thanks
;)

thankyou.

‎"If you have done the best you can do and if you have gotten all you could
extract from something -- you have given all you had to give, then the
time has come when you can do no more than say thank you and move on." Maya Angelou

solution

Higher than a circumstance
Your promise stands
Your love for all to see
Higher than protest line and dollar signs
Your love is all we need

Hm.

I wonder if...
you still read this.
If you even care.
I care. I do.
But that's not enough is it.

Nope.

Have I been so easily erased from your life?

it was that easy? All I had to do was let you go...

and that's it for you. No fighting for what you want.
No trying to make things right/better/happy.

unless you are already feeling all of those...without me.

Makes me feel like a keeper I'll tell you that right now.

you didn't want to be the one.


Nice.

Time.

When do you know when it's time to give up? Or give in? Or when it's over? When do you truly know?


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Joshua 1:6.

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go"

Psalm 103:12

12 as far as the east is from the west,
so far has he removed our transgressions from us.

Psalm 26.

Vindicate me, O LORD,
for I have led a blameless life;
I have trusted in the LORD
without wavering.
2 Test me, O LORD, and try me,
examine my heart and my mind;

3 for your love is ever before me,
and I walk continually in your truth.

4 I do not sit with deceitful men,
nor do I consort with hypocrites;

5 I abhor the assembly of evildoers
and refuse to sit with the wicked.

6 I wash my hands in innocence,
and go about your altar, O LORD,

7 proclaiming aloud your praise
and telling of all your wonderful deeds.

8 I love the house where you live, O LORD,
the place where your glory dwells.

9 Do not take away my soul along with sinners,
my life with bloodthirsty men,

10 in whose hands are wicked schemes,
whose right hands are full of bribes.

11 But I lead a blameless life;
redeem me and be merciful to me.

12 My feet stand on level ground;
in the great assembly I will praise the LORD.

crush.

Are you really going to just stand there and watch be burn?

I've literally been crushed- let me emphasize that...

CRUSHED

3 times in, oh, about 3 days.

I'd rather not go into details

except for the fact that things were not as they appeared to be to me. A potential relationship...crushed while I was standing in the middle of wal mart. And what do I do? I offer them a car. What is wrong with me?

I thought I had a friend...but in reality I was pissing them off and doing everything wrong. I had a gut feeling, but I didn't realize how bad it really was.

and then, well there is always the other. That I want and pray and wish so hard for every day, and nothing helps.

ok so I went into details.

anyone?

Anyone else out there interested in breaking my heart? Seems to be my life theme. So just go on, get it over with.

ack.

Tell me what to do. What do I do?

tell me.

The Avett Brothers - I And Love And You

...

Just gonna stand there
And watch me burn
But that's alright
Because I like
The way it hurts
Just gonna stand there
And hear me cry
But that's alright
Because I love
The way you lie

now?

I'm about ready
for a
SERIOUS
Breakthrough!!

for real.

no.

I don't want to do it anymore.

Hurt.

No more!!!

so.

And so it is...


...most of the time.


but when it's not


what do I do with the emptiness?

me

I don't ask for a lot.
Or do I?
Do I ask for too much?

I suppose I do.

(I'd like to enter some nasty words here but I will restrain myself.)

I will be the best person I can possibly be, that's all I can do.

Real.

When reality hits
it hits hard.
Life is hard.
I try
oh I try so hard to believe
but it still hurts
every inch
every bone
every hair
is hit
by the reality
that is in fact
my life.
Cycles
circles
pieces

it's my life.

Miami

is....

good.

but I'm ready to get back
to the life
I'm starting
over.

show.

All I've been doing in my spare time is staring at my slideshow and watching what pictures come up with the words of the song.
I'm infatuated with watching it.
and finding more pictures to add to it.

Ok back to the slideshow...

me.

Take time to realize...
I am on your side.

It's been a while since I've written in my own words.
I've been plagiarizing from others
it's easier sometimes to express thoughts
when others can do it so easily and in such a poetic manner
it's almost like,
words put together can mean so many different things
so I choose what I want them to mean to me
and I use them.
Instead of my own.
I don't feel as creative when I write for myself.

But it can be that simple.

Like, for example, how can I express my feelings on the difference between being dissapointed, and just feeling hurt?

To me, dissapointment is huge. It means letting someone down. It's almost intentional, a cover up, knowing and doing one thing, but not revealing the truth.

I know this will hurt you. I know this is what I should not do, but I will do it anyway and hope you don't find out, and act like nothing is wrong.

It means to let someone down. While knowing you can change it, stop it, but continue nonetheless.

Feelings being hurt, because of situations that are beyond our control, are not intentional. Unplanned. planning something on the wrong date, not knowing something is important to someone, (although it seem obvious to one person, we are not mind readers) those are temporary and can be worked though. Misunderstandings, they can be worked though with honesty, time, support, prayer. Communication. Say what you mean, yes means YES, no means NO! (See? I took words from Pastor Nate again :))

So those are my feelings. and they mean exactly what you think they mean. They don't make good song lyrics, but, it's me.

one.

Did you ever stare at the moon
Til you saw double?

I hear you walk away from touble.

Actions.

"There is no need to promise or swear if you ALWAYS follow through."

-Pastor Nate

Gifts.

I was born to be an encouraging servant. I believe these are my spiritual gifts.

He Loves Us.

He is jealous for me
Love's like a hurricane,
I am a tree
Bending beneath the weight of
His wind and mercy
When all of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory
and I realize just how beautiful You are and how great your affections are for me.

We are His portion and
He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption
by the grace in His eyes
If grace is an ocean, we're all sinking
So heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss and my heart turns
violently inside of my chest
I don't have time to maintain these regrets when I think about the way

my angel.

I loved you even before I knew you.
I loved you for as long as I can remember.
The moment I saw you, everything made sense.
That love that is so incredible, it's almost like it can't possibly exist.
it does.
And it's yours.
You will grow up,
you will abuse my love for you
But it will never change.
You are my constant wordly companion and I will do everything I can for you.
My daughter.
Ramey Jones.
My beautiful daughter.

Disturb Us.

"Disturb us, Lord, when we are too well pleased with ourselves.
When our dreams have come true because we dreamed too little.
When we arrive safely because we have sailed too close to the shore.
Disturb us, Lord."
-Sir Francis Drake

No more wandering. No more emptiness. No more searching.

change.

You,
It's different now.
I can be strong, I can be me.
I am learning who that is.
It's hard,
It's scary,
It's a journey that can only be my own.

But you,
you are on your own new journey.
I can see that.
and our lives have come back together
and it's different.

It's stronger, because I am stronger.
I am finding me.
I am finding God.
I am letting Him in and He is changing my life.
The Darkness...
...Light is peering in
I can see the glimmer
it's there!

And I want you to be there to see it!
And you want to be there too.
That is wonderful.
And I believe it,
so...
until...
tomorrow!

Reservations.

How can I convince you it's me I don't like
And not be so indifferent to the look in your eyes
When I've always been distant
And I've always told lies for love

I'm bound by these choices so hard to make
I'm bound by the feeling so easy to fake
None of this is real
Enough to take me from you

Oh I've got reservations
About so many things
But not about you

I know this isn't what you were wanting me to say
How can I get closer and be further away
When the truth
Proves it's beautiful to lie

Oh I've got reservations
About so many things
But not about you

It's not about you.

Ballad.

Love writes a letter and sends it to hate.
“My vacations ending I’m coming home late.”
“The weather was fine and the ocean was great.”
“And I can’t wait to see you again.”

Hate reads the letter and throws it away.
“No one here cares if you go or you stay.”
“I barely even noticed that you were away.”
“I’ll see you or I won’t, whatever.”

Love sings a song as she sails through the sky.
The water looks bluer through her pretty eyes.
And everyone knows it whenever she flies.
And also when she comes down.

Hate keeps his head up and walks through the street.
Every stranger and drifter he greets.
And shakes hands with every loner he meets
with a serious look on his face.

Love arrives safely with suitcase in toe.
Carrying with her the good things we know.
A reason to live and a reason to grow
To trust, to hold, to care

Hate sits alone on the hood of his car
without much regard to the moon or the stars.
Lazily killing the last of a jar
of the strongest stuff you can drink.

Love takes a taxi, a young man drives
As soon he sees her hope fills his eyes.
But tears follow after at the end of the ride.
Cause he might never see her again.

Hate gets home lucky to still be alive.
He screams over the sidewalk and into the drive.
The clock in the kitchen says two fifty five
And the clock in the kitchen is slow.

Love has been waiting patient and kind.
Just wanting a phone call or some kind of sign.
That the one that she cares for who’s out of his mind
Will make it back safe to her arms.

Hate stumbles forward and leans in the door.
Weary head hung down, eyes to the floor
He says, “Love I’m sorry” and she says, “What for?”
“I’m yours and that’s it, whatever”
“I should not have been gone for so long”
“I’m yours and that’s it, forever”
“Your mine and that’s it, forever”

tin man.

You can't be like me
But be happy that you can't
I see pain but I don't feel it
I am like the old tin man

I'm as warm as a stone
I keep it steady as I can
I see pain but I don't feel it
I am like the old tin man

I miss that, I miss that, oh, I miss that feeling of feeling

I used to feel the sky around
With happiness and joy
I had news to give the wind
To keep my cells and heart employed

I felt people move around me
I felt loneliness and shame
Back then every day was different
Now each moment is the same

I miss that, I miss that, oh, I miss that feeling of feeling
I miss that, I miss that, oh, I miss that feeling of feeling
The feeling of feeling

The wind above my face
And carrying what it brings this way
The feeling of feeling
The minutes pass away
And carrying what I do with them
Maybe bring me love or something else

And so it goes, a man grows cold
Some would say a man grows strong
They say life only grows short
I say the road only grows long

But as long as there's a road
My feet will never touch the ground
And if you won't give my heart back
I've no need to stick around

I miss that, I miss that, oh, I miss that feeling of feeling
I miss that, I miss that, oh, I miss that feeling of feeling
The feeling of feeling
The feeling of feeling

3.

I just realized
I will wake up
Alone
on my daughter's 3rd birthday.
and that hurts.

headfulness of empty

My mind
is unable to think
anymore

How did this happen?

There is nothing
nothing left

in this mind

that used to be so positive

and sure

even about the unsure

Mentally, I can not think

anymore

sunken

There's rows and rows of houses
With windows painted blue
With the light from a TV
Running parallel to you

But there is no sunken treasure
Rumored to be
Wrapped inside my ribs
In a sea black with ink

I am so
Out of tune
With you

I am so out of tune
With you

If I had a mountain
I'd try to fold it over
If I had a boat (probably roll over)
You know I'd probably roll over (leave it on the shore)

And I leave it on the shore (leave it for somebody)
I'd leave it for somebody
Surely there's somebody
Who needs it more than me

I am so
Out of tune
With you

I am so out of tune
With you

For all the leaves will burn
In autumn fires and then return
For all the fires we burn
All will return

-Wilco.

In Our Darkest Hour
In My Deepest Despair
Will You Still Care?
Will You Be There?
In My Trials
And My Tripulations
Through Our Doubts
And Frustrations
In My Violence
In My Turbulence
Through My Fear
And My Confessions
In My Anguish And My Pain
Through My Joy And My Sorrow
In The Promise Of Another Tomorrow
I'll Never Let You Part
For You're Always In My Heart.
-Michael Jackson

...

I have NEVER seen it this dark before.

yes ma'am

You wonder why it is not the same.

It used to be charming.

You say it to others...

It's not so charming anymore.

this day.

Happy Birthday, you.

With out you, my life

oh my life

I can't even think about what my life

would be like

With out

You.

Graphic.

Shit.

Everywhere I look, I am covered in shit.

I am crawling in it

Every single time I think I can see

a glimmer of light

more shit falls in my face.

where is the light?

when will I be able to be free

to see past this mess

and fall into the river

with clean water

washing over me

washing off all of this heavy, smelly shit

that I have been stuck in for so long.

I am crawling,

gasping for air

and I honestly do not see a way out.