New.

"Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?" Isaiah 43:18

Oh! God IS doing a new thing! No longer will I dwell on the past! I leave my live in His hands! 

Setbacks.

Independence

Four.

Ramey sang this song today. Happy Independence Day!!


Sing the fifty states to the tune of "Turkey in the Straw."


There are 50 states in our country,
You can learn them all if you sing them with me.
We'll start with "A" and work our way through.
We are all very proud of the red, white and blue.


Alabama, Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas
California, Colorado, Connecticut, Delaware
Florida, Georgia, Hawaii, Idaho
Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Don't you know!


Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maine
Maryland, Massachusetts, Michigan, Minnesota
Mississippi, Missouri, Montana, Nebraska
Nevada, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New Mexico


New York, North Carolina, North Dakota, Ohio
Oklahoma, Oregon, Pennsylvania, We're on a roll!
Rhode Island, South Carolina, South Dakota, Tennessee
Texas, Utah, We're near the end, you see.


Vermont, Virginia, and Washington State
West Virginia, Wisconsin, Wyoming. This is great!
We can sing them, we can say them, and now that we're all through.
We'll kiss our brains and say, "Yahoo!"

Seven.

If I were still married, today would be my 7th wedding anniversary. It's bittersweet. 7 years ago I thought I was making the best decision, choosing forever, choosing happiness. It's wedding season it seems, and I get a little knot in my stomach whenever couples talk about how happy they are and how long they've made it and been married. I hate that I feel that way. I should be happy for them, for their success and dedication. Bittersweet.

Match.

So... I was almost finished filling out a profile on match.com. I was typing about my love for Christ and how much my church means to me when... My computer decides to restart. Hmm....

Selfish me.

I'm going to be selfish. I'm going to complain or maybe sound needy or irrational.
I'm 31. I have a life that I'm thankful for. I'm beyond blessed. However, there is one empty place in my heart. I'm ready, so ready for it to be filled. I'm ready to fill that place in someone else's heart. But since I've been hurt so much, and I've been alone so much, I've had time to think. Think about what I actually want. And that's where I become selfish.
I want to know what it's like. To have a man look at me and see no one else. I know I'm not gorgeous. However, have I become jaded? What in the world is wrong? Am I too needy? I realize I expect too much from people. That will not change. I deserve the best and there is a part of me that realizes that since my standards are so high, people to the left and right of me will find beautiful relationships where as I continue to search and fail. Those people were not meant for me. God knows what the heck He is doing. I mean, seriously. He whispered all of the stars and all of creation in one single breath. But still. The human part in me is just sitting here thinking "really? REALLY? What is wrong with me? I love God, I'm a faithful woman, I love my church, I love my daughter, I love animals, and seriously? Nothing." I just keep getting signals to stop before I even begin. So frustrating.
So I wait. No. I surrender. White flag is raised.
These are just thoughts that go through me head now and then. It is almost like all the good guys are already gone. I missed out I suppose!

YOU

           Love unfailing truth unchanging
           I depend on You

Faithful Father peace foreverI will rest in You
Unshakable my hope remainsLord I believe in You
You are strength for those in needYou are defender of the weakYou are everything we needYou are our God You are our God
God of mercy I will live in praise of all You've doneGod eternal by Your power I will overcome
None greater none higherAll praise to God our SaviorUnchanging unfailingAll praise to You our Savior

Inside.

Lately I've reverted into my shy, less expressive, introverted self. It's ok though. Perhaps the lack of sleep is a factor. I'm ok with expressing myself...to myself. Perhaps it's God's way of getting myself to listen...to Him...through myself. Is that selfish? I don't thinks so. :-)

Grace Potter & The Nocturnals - Stars

Search.

Psalm 139:23, 24 NIV"Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting."

Back.

Oh how my back really wants a massage right now. Maybe I can get my dog to walk on my back? Ouch!

Thanksgiving!! Can't wait until Saturday!! My Thanksgiving!

Blank Page.

Faith.

I need You

To soften my heart

To break me apart

I need You

To open my eyes

And see that You're shaping my life

All I am

I surrender

Give me FAITH

to trust what You say

That You're good

And Your love is great 

I'm broken inside

I give You my life

I need You 

To soften my heart

To break me apart

I need You 

To pierce through the dark

and cleanse every part of me

All I am

I surrender

Give me FAITH 

To trust what You say

That You're good

And Your love is great

I'm broken inside

I give You my life

I may be weak, 

But You're spirit's strong in me

 My flesh may fail,

My God you never will

Give me FAITH

To trust what You say...

Finally.

I want to take a moment. To be nothing but thankful. To sit still and realize how amazingly BLESSED I am!

Thank you Lord!!!

Thank You.